The Trauma of Twins
When I was pregnant with my first child we were on a tight budget and turned to Craigslist for baby essentials. I had been scouring the listings for a particular brand of co-sleeper when I found a listing for a nearly new set of beds. Score! We jumped in the car eager to secure this golden find.
As we waited at the door eagerly, we heard footprints slow and shuffling approach the door. The man who greeted us was in rough shape – scruffy beard, tousled hair, puffy bags sat under his eyes and his head hung low as if in defeat. It looked like he had been awake for weeks, months even. He looked at us and said plaintively, “We have twins. We haven’t slept in a year.” Just beyond him lay a large mattress on the ground. “That’s where we try to sleep,” he said. “The cosleeper are new. The babies never use them”.
Since that day that my idea of twins has transformed from “Aww, how great that would be!” to wide-eyed horror at the prospect of having multiples myself.
A Mellow Morning in Lanikai
That vision of the harried, sleep-deprived dad sticks with me when I meet a new parent of twins. It simply amazes me when they seem to be … well, functioning. Emily and her family were doing significantly better than functioning, however. They strolled along the beach playing at the edge of the water. Without missing a beat, they would comfort a crying baby and take a questionable stick from the other baby while playing a game of chase with the oldest. They were easy-going, relaxed, and fun-natured and it was a delight to witness.
They live on the west coast, but their hearts lie in Hawaii. Normally, they make regular visits to their family’s Lanikai home, but this year the pandemic kept them grounded for much of the twin’s first year. The pandemic also meant they weren’t able to capture baby photos so their trip was the perfect opportunity.
Capturing the Babies at Home
After playing at the beach for awhile, we loaded the babies back into their wagon and finished the session in the back yard. Here, the babies were content to be in familiar territory and out of the wind and harsh sun. They were more eat ease and we were able to get some happy grins.
What Do Your Important Moments Look Like?
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